A little update.

So me and one of what I consider my closest friends (His names Keenan) have decided to set up a rewards system for good grades on tests. We've decided that we are only going to go to Mojo Crepes on an occasion given by an A on a test. So if we have 5 classes and there are five midterms five As will give us five chances to go to Mojo Crepes! If we get a C or below then the other must bestow a slap. I belive our chart was something like this:
C = 1 slap
D = 2 slaps
F = 4 slaps

And these can be distributed at any given time from that test until summer time. So they're pretty much similar as the rewards whereas they are:
A = One occasion to go to Mojo Crepes
B = NOTHING. STUDY MORE.

Haha. I think it's going to be lovely if say Keenan gets an A in one class and like two C's. Because then we'll go to Mojo Crepes to celebrate and then I'LL SLAP HIM. Bwahhaa TWICE. I'm pretty excited for this :) Of course I should be scared for myself also...bwhahaha

I also kinda find it sad that we're using food as an incentive for good academic behavior haha. OH! That reminds me I need to work on a goals list. Grr.

PS: YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE BUSY WHEN YOU WEREN'T PHU? :O
That's okay acutally I've done that before a BUNCH of times.

Anyways that's all.

NO IT'S NOT!

TODAY I WAS LATE IN MEETING PHU AT THE LIBRARY! I FEEL HORRRIBLLEEE. So instead I had to go with Agustin, Lisa, and Ashley. Now as of late, I don't really like being around Ashley. Well not that it's just neither Ashley nor I have made any effort to really talk to each other. I mean I've sent her texts and maybe called a couple times in the last month. Usually she replies once with a text and stops there. And I think half the times I've called (twice lol) she's only returned one call..and I think both times I called were to return her calling me...Anyways, I dunno. I never thuoght I'd be sick of her...I mean we stopped talking ever since she got a boyfriend. I dunno maybe her boyfriend got tired of hearing about her hanging out with me. It's not that we hung out actually we just sometimes got coffee during her lunch or something else pretty small. And Despite all this, I actually don't mind. I think we should've treated each other like exes a long time ago. I always thought it was weird when somethign happened between me and her and the next day it wouldn't be awkawrd. Because it SHUOLD be awkward. Having two people meet and both being awkawrd aknowledges that something happened. Not having it awkward is just...ignoring it, at least in our case.

I mean today when she told me she was going to PSU I almsot was a little happy. Then she said she wasn't sure and I was happy then too. Because for some reason I have this little tidbit that when I go to OSU Phu isn't going to have time to talk to me! :( lol. Weird fear huh? And...I used to be close with Ashley. REALLY close. Today was just a little weird going shopping and talking with her. It's like talking to an old friend who used to know you well. You count on what you remember and hope they haven't changed. Anyways. I dunno. This is how it's been between me and her. Something happens. Maybe an argument or some fallingout and we don't talk. We may message each other or maybe start a small AIM conversation but in this perido of time there's minimal contact. And then we start talking again out of nowhere. And it's good talking; we talk and laugh and it's similar to Phu and I actually. I guess though...I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being close to Ashley and then not being close. I remember she had this goal of not pushing me away this year. Hoo boy.

I think I can officially say that for the first time since I've admitted to liking her, I can say that I'm starting to get over her, and let me tell you: It's been a long time since then.

I guess now I just need some time to myself. And a booty call. But mainly the first one haha.

I do feel guilt though. On the ride to picking up Lisa I hardly talked to Ashley. But when Lisa got into the car I started talking and yammering on and on. I guess it's cause I don't know what to say to Ashley. As much as I hate to say it: At this point, she's more my ex than a best friend. Or even a close friend. Which is unfortunate because we did used to be close. Actually close. Oh memory lane. You need some governement funds to clean you up.

What's funny is today she made an old inside joke about us ...uh...ahem "baking". At first I thought it was childish to even still talk about it. But at the same time she made a pretty funny joke haha. I had to laugh! For the future though, I have to learn to keep myself in check. Because if there are chances of us hanging out for a long period of time, I have to be sure to not find the reasons for which I liked her in the first place which I've done a fair amount of times in the past. Her sense of humor I've just always loved. Bah. Curses!

Oh boy this is a long blog. Haha Phu must be so happy!

Also. Today talking to Lisa was totally a good thing. I never have in the past gotten to know her well enough to realize she has her own individual personality and interests and so on. She's quite the neat-o person :)

Ah I hope it snows tomorrow. Then I won't have to go to work :)

PHU!

Yesterday I saw Phu! And Cat! At Mary-Ann's house! It was quite interesting. I think yesterday I talked to Phu for roughly 3-4 hours. This alone was probably more than I've talked to her in the last...year! Which is ridiculous.

So some background info! Catalina is my cousin. Probably my closest cousin. Scratch that. SHE IS my closest cousin. Phu is the friend I've known the longest out of anyone else. If I remember right I've known her for about 10 years; give or take a year...or two...

In hindsight, so much has happened to the little girl with enough girl-balls to slap a cocky stupid kid. Crazily enough, even back then I knew Phu would soar right past me. The thing is though, I don't think I should have made that observation so early. I think looking back on the last 4 or 5 years of my academic career, there's been a lot of regret. A LOT. But on the other hand there's been a lot more... perspective growth than I thought I'd ever receive. ANYWAYS. I've probably been close to an academic failure. Well maybe not a FAILURE. But at least not too pretty. And I think had I put more effort back then I'd at least be on the same footing with Phu. But it's like that quote Phu sent me not too long ago: "The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now." I must have said that I would "plant" a tree so many times now. Really most of it was a bunch of bullshit. By comparison, every time I said that was really just a step towards picking up a seed :P

Back to last night. Sorry for the random tangents.

We talked a lot about college. And food...BUT MAINLY ACADEMICS! Along with pooploads of jokes. It reminded me of Agustin and his visit to Lisa's on Thanksgiving.

TANGENT: Agustin went to Lisa's thanksgiving party and had this mini epiphany. He then told me the next day to start focusing on school and to get over Ashley. I called him an asshole and...I don't remember what happened after that...haha But I remember it wasn't like a huge insult or anything, just a surprise statement.

Something that I had gotten from my cousin Cat and Phu was basically that I was this guy who had a lot of potential...and at my current standpoint, I am not using any of it. At one point I was talking about a drug called hydroxyurea. And how fascinated I was with the way it's used to force viruses into basically commiting suicide. Phu gave me a face I had never seen before. It was a "I'm confused" and an "Unbelievable..." look. Phu basically couldn't believe that I was so excited and seemingly so passionate about something and yet...I'm doing nothing about this built-up excitement. That's when I thought to myself "What AM I doing?" I've basically been slacking off since...well let's say a long while. Can I pick myself up in time? I actually should start being more assertive and start donig some research on my major and really what I want to do in the future. It's a nice wake-up call, especially coming from Phu.

Even though she can be a tad crazy sometimes, her opinion does matter to me even though I tend to shrug it off. I MISS PHU! I need to see her more often; it seems like we're always laughing when we see each other. Usually we don't talk for a while and then we catch up and laugh and the process repeats. I don't think this is going to work anymore though. It's gotten to the point where we're too far away from each other. And we hardly call each other. Makes me sad to think about it...but then again I'll probaly see her a lot when I go to OSU. Just now it seems so.. I dunno the word...let's say bare bones.

It's funky; I remember when me and Phu referred to each other as best friends. I actually don't think we are. Maybe at one point we were best friends, maybe not. I mean chances are if Phu was in Portland alone and was in need of a ride I probably wouldn't be the first person she'd call. Or the second or the third. Of course that just may be out of convenience. I think I really do want to get to know Phu though. So one of my goals is to start talking to Phu more! And taking time to see her!

Ahh. So late to be planting a seed. Regret fills me. But I guess it's better late than never.

?

Man I've been tired lately. Talk about school being a major buzz-kill!
That's all for now. Haha a new post and it SUUCKSSS

Very sorry I haven't been posting.

I'm in vietnam. It's ponyo!

So much to write about.
So much to be worried about.
So much to be happy about.

Gah. :)