The 28th

I have a few things on my mind so I'll just let them spill. Yes? YES.

-I saw "He's Just Not That Into You" today. I love that movie lol. If you haven't seen it I recommend it. LOOK UP A TRAILER RIGHT NOW! At the least I thought it was pretty lovely and pretty realistic. Ish. It's just...I dunno I liked it. I even liked the soundtrack

-I'm starting a raw foods diet. With the exception of a few vegetable soups. It's mainly just fruits and vegetables. Kinda...I dunno but the only way it'll work is to convince my parents to stop making asian food lol. My dad and bro are for it!

-I don't get you. Meeting you at first was quite pleasant but it dawned on me at some point that you were a broken person. And at hte time I wanted to get you all patched up ANY way possible. At the time I wouldn't even have minded if I got burned somehow in that process. Now... I want to say I don't give a shit. I want to say I don't care and I'm done with you for a while until I can get over this huge sack of shit that you keep giving out to people. But...I can't say that. Nor can I truly believe that is really how I want to do things. And that's because...well. Hmm. Lemme think abuot this.

*leaves to think for about 15 minutes*

I don't think I ever told you but I did and still do consider you my best friend. At the same time after recent events I don't want to talk to you. I don't even know for how long I don't want to bu I do know that this feeling contradicts the thought that I want my best friends in my life. Bah. This is pathetic.

- Oh yeah. I bought a freakin' shirt. It's awesome. I love it. It's a niceguy shirt. :)

-My lord I'm retarded.

-You know what? You effed up. I have no sympathy for you cuz you SHOULD have known what you were getting yourself into. I told you shit and you still had to go through. And now it's so fucking weird for you to feel the same way. Ugh. You are a fuckin' idiot. I'm an idiot too for posting this here. Why I can't message this to you or say it to your face I do not know. Probably because it jsut sounds so fucking mean.

-I have work tomorrow. This sucks. Goodnight.

-I miss talking to Phu -__-

My Plans.

So I've been working on a rap song in the last...24 hours. It uses Atmosphere's Yesterday beat and heck, the idea I got came from this song. I think I'm going to call it either "The Power of Tomorrow" or "The Future of Tomorrow." Personally, I think the latter sounds better and actually makes more sense with the lyrics I've written.

Exercised today. It feels gravvvyyy. I just need to go on a major no-crap diet lol. Unfortunately, much of what is bought and cooked in my house is considered crap...Wah.

AH! I said I would make a list of crap to do. I think this is all the little projects I've got planned for the summer:
[ ] Learn some computery programmey stuff. Probably just C++
(Whatever my dad can teach me in relation to hardware in pumps and lights)

[ ] Lose some a crap-load of weight.
(I dunno. 10 pounds? 20 pounds? more? Ha)

[ ] Learn more Vietnamese words & Improve grammar
(Hopefully get in about 150 words this summer)

[ ] Write and record at least two songs over the summer that will not shatter the human ear upon being heard at earshot.
(This will be OH so hard...xD)

[ ] Have a worthwhile summer.
(Technically, This should be the easiest! Unless I somehow end up doing NOTHING over the summer. Which is really so...just sooooo horrible.)

[ ] At the end of summer, resolve things and continue if not already done.
(Mhmm.)

[ ] Keep going with the poetry thing.
(I plan on getting better!)

How strange.

Ya know for some reason I thought I'd have some nervous break down last night.

Well, I did.

But not for long. Probably a good 15-20 minutes? And then...I just didn't sleep. I stayed up doing a bunch of crap that I told myself I'd do, but never did. At first it started off small, with working towards finishing the video games that I haven't beaten yet, or at least gotten farther. After that I started writing in my Book. Came up with some interesting and yet somewhat not-too-bad worded stuff. Started penspinning again. In a sense my penspinning almost represents how...good and energetic I am. I guess if I'm not penspinning you'd best be worried lol. Or ya know, I forgot to bring a pen with me at some point. Started reading books. Finished Yes Man and I'm now starting Fight Club. After that the Metal Gear Solid novel AND THEN..? Probably hamet or Gulliver's travels. Not sure yet. I've got about two weeks until school starts so I'll probably be working and doing as much crap as I can! Well, actually I ahve to manage hanging out with people somewhere into all of this. I think I should make a list of crap to do and go down the list one by one. Or if it's something long-term, I just focus on a different thing every week. Or every other week.

Probably the biggest thing of the night was working out and donig tae kwon do in the garage. I'm not sure how I got out of hand with working out or even martial arts. Now it seems like if I got into a fight I'd go down like a sack of crap...or potatoes. Whichever you prefer!

I should make a list of shit to do. When I do I'll post it here. Anyways buh bye. Dudes and dudettes.

06/12/09

So I pulled out my poetry book and started re-writing all the poems I did in pencil. Why, you ask? Because the lead is fading hardcore and soon it'll be illegible. SO! I decided to re-write everything in pen. Man, THAT takes a while. Anyways, I think this summer I'll have a lot of time to write about crap I was always "too busy" to write about. Why again, you ask? Because I know some weeks i'll be busy and other weeks, I'll just have nothing to do. SO THAT'S THAT.

Man finals was this week. Boy! Am I happy. They went rather....well I think lol. As much as I could cram and so on and so fourth I think I liked it :]

Sneaking people around...is sneaky business...especialyl when you're doing it a second time? I think it's HARDER! :o

Lately it seems like bullies are pissing me off more and more. No me gusta. I know people are stupid but some people are just REALLY fucking stupid. Sorry to not emphasize but i'm too tired. And I'm sure if I explained how some kid was picking on another kid JUST cause of his age and what happened to that bully I'm sure you wouldn't care anyway! SO. I'll leave it at that :)

And now for a strange turn of tone.

I'm finding it a lot easier to talk to Steak Sauce than I am to...hmm what name should I use...Rectal Area? Hmm...DJ? ASSHOLE!? Meh, let's go with Don Juan. It seems apparent that no matter what shit I go through with Steak Sauce I seem to always end up talking to her or eventually being okay with her. I'm not saying I'm okay with her now, but at the least I can mantain a normal conversation with her. She seemed cheery yesterday; been a while since I've seen her cheery; it's a good thing.

Don Juan, on the other hand...well, I dunno. After this recent thing, a talk with Steak Sauce, I've been questioning my so-called friendship with the guy; questioning everything he's done and everything he hasn't. The odds are not looking good. But then again, all of this is far far too soon to say or mention. I guess I'll just go through summer and see what happens. As much as I'd like everything to go back to a nice stable level, I know deep down it's not going to be for a while, and quite frankly, I prefer it. OH! Keenan says I'm too nice when I worry about Don Juan or talk about the guy. Keenan is the nicest guy I know...I think if the nicest guy you know says you're being too nice, it's kinda a hint at something. Or it's just nothing. I think I should totally rage at the guy now. I think it'd be bad if I just let it ALL OUT as rage. Trust me, the last week or two I've been waking up angry at so many things but out of all those times there's been one dude who's been in every rage and it wasn't sucha bad rage. I can only imagine now would just be...horrendous!

Haha I put a reminder in my phone though! "Fucking _______ is 18!" What a great reminder my phone's given me yesterday :] Haha kinda funny, just the other day my mom was talking to my brother asking if I'm still friends with Don Juan. Asian Moms. Ha. So observant.

My point in talking about all of this was...ever since...about a month ago (30 daysish) I had some major poop happen. And it kept piling up and up and up. It didn't really stop piling up until about two weeks ago. Even then, I still had this giant pile of bullshit waiting for me to deal with it. And... I dunno, I've been holding in my frustration since then. So the next few days I'm going to be...either full of rage, full of sadness, isolated, or all of the above. At least that's what I predict. I'm kinda in this weird calm but I can sense something huge coming....*shudders* scary.

Man lemme tell you. DON'T hold in shit for a long period of time. You just end up inconveniently pissing those around you. And tehn you feel regret later. Sucks hardcore bike balls.

Anyways. I've yet to really let myself...burst. Ugh. Horrible word choice. I guess let myself let everything out? I think I'll go do that now. Chao