06/12/09

So I pulled out my poetry book and started re-writing all the poems I did in pencil. Why, you ask? Because the lead is fading hardcore and soon it'll be illegible. SO! I decided to re-write everything in pen. Man, THAT takes a while. Anyways, I think this summer I'll have a lot of time to write about crap I was always "too busy" to write about. Why again, you ask? Because I know some weeks i'll be busy and other weeks, I'll just have nothing to do. SO THAT'S THAT.

Man finals was this week. Boy! Am I happy. They went rather....well I think lol. As much as I could cram and so on and so fourth I think I liked it :]

Sneaking people around...is sneaky business...especialyl when you're doing it a second time? I think it's HARDER! :o

Lately it seems like bullies are pissing me off more and more. No me gusta. I know people are stupid but some people are just REALLY fucking stupid. Sorry to not emphasize but i'm too tired. And I'm sure if I explained how some kid was picking on another kid JUST cause of his age and what happened to that bully I'm sure you wouldn't care anyway! SO. I'll leave it at that :)

And now for a strange turn of tone.

I'm finding it a lot easier to talk to Steak Sauce than I am to...hmm what name should I use...Rectal Area? Hmm...DJ? ASSHOLE!? Meh, let's go with Don Juan. It seems apparent that no matter what shit I go through with Steak Sauce I seem to always end up talking to her or eventually being okay with her. I'm not saying I'm okay with her now, but at the least I can mantain a normal conversation with her. She seemed cheery yesterday; been a while since I've seen her cheery; it's a good thing.

Don Juan, on the other hand...well, I dunno. After this recent thing, a talk with Steak Sauce, I've been questioning my so-called friendship with the guy; questioning everything he's done and everything he hasn't. The odds are not looking good. But then again, all of this is far far too soon to say or mention. I guess I'll just go through summer and see what happens. As much as I'd like everything to go back to a nice stable level, I know deep down it's not going to be for a while, and quite frankly, I prefer it. OH! Keenan says I'm too nice when I worry about Don Juan or talk about the guy. Keenan is the nicest guy I know...I think if the nicest guy you know says you're being too nice, it's kinda a hint at something. Or it's just nothing. I think I should totally rage at the guy now. I think it'd be bad if I just let it ALL OUT as rage. Trust me, the last week or two I've been waking up angry at so many things but out of all those times there's been one dude who's been in every rage and it wasn't sucha bad rage. I can only imagine now would just be...horrendous!

Haha I put a reminder in my phone though! "Fucking _______ is 18!" What a great reminder my phone's given me yesterday :] Haha kinda funny, just the other day my mom was talking to my brother asking if I'm still friends with Don Juan. Asian Moms. Ha. So observant.

My point in talking about all of this was...ever since...about a month ago (30 daysish) I had some major poop happen. And it kept piling up and up and up. It didn't really stop piling up until about two weeks ago. Even then, I still had this giant pile of bullshit waiting for me to deal with it. And... I dunno, I've been holding in my frustration since then. So the next few days I'm going to be...either full of rage, full of sadness, isolated, or all of the above. At least that's what I predict. I'm kinda in this weird calm but I can sense something huge coming....*shudders* scary.

Man lemme tell you. DON'T hold in shit for a long period of time. You just end up inconveniently pissing those around you. And tehn you feel regret later. Sucks hardcore bike balls.

Anyways. I've yet to really let myself...burst. Ugh. Horrible word choice. I guess let myself let everything out? I think I'll go do that now. Chao